My special Armoire

In my studio I have a mess.  I mean a big mess.  I can't seem to get inspired.  I can't think of how I want to arrange all the "stuff".  It is a mess.

There was a time in my life when this would not have been a problem.  Years ago I would easily tackled this room and had it organized in no time.

Years ago, my most valuable time of the day was after I got in bed.  I would be clear headed and be able to gather my thoughts and think through a challenge and instantly find the answer. Then, in the morning I could get things accomplished.  But, I can't do that anymore.  Something inside my head broke.  It just doesn't get into gear the way it used to.  Now, when I get into bed, I instantly fall asleep.

My mind doesn't work the same way at all now.  It just goes to sleep.  No matter how pressing my troubles are, no matter how unorganized my house is, no matter how badly I need to think through problems and decisions, no matter what.  I just go to sleep.

I should be worried that the sprinklers are coming on 4 times a day on the new sod, which was laid last week.  Well, that shouldn't worry me, but the fact that the other sprinklers in my back yard are coming on 4 times a day and they don't need to, that should worry me.  I should worry because I don't know how to change the sprinkler settings and so the water just keeps coming on, 4 times a day.  The sod needs that much water, but the other part of the backyard doesn't.  In fact, it should be  much drier, as that is where 3 dogs go potty everyday.  That means they go out the doggie door, and go on the wet ground, they run around and sniff each others "spot" and then they come back inside the house, through the doggie door with very wet feet.  Their feet are very wet because the sprinklers come on 4 times a day.

But I am forgetting to tell you about my worries about the studio. 

I have an armoire.  It is very special to me.  I was given this armoire from two dear friends.  My friend Barbara had this armoire in a guest bedroom.  It was beautiful there.  I coveted it.  But, then Barbara died.  Her husband is my dear friend too.  He remarried, and got a new house, new furniture and didn't need this special armoire any more.  So, he lovingly gave it to me.  My heart leaped with joy to have this.  I could not afford to ever buy something like this.  I had looked at it for years and I loved it.  It has special meaning to me because my dear friend Barbara picked it out, and she had Great Taste!  She was amazing. (And I miss her still......)

Now I have a big armoire.  I love it.  I really love it.  It is my inspiration piece for the studio. But it is so big.  It is making it seem like an elephant in the room.  I am struggling with how to use it.  I have my printer inside it.  I love having that printer out of sight.  But then, above the printer is just a bunch of wasted space, because the printer lid lifts up, and it has to have all that space above it to open.

Nothing else inside the armoire is inspirational. The armoire doesn't hold important inspirational items. There aren't vintage buttons, or lace.  There is no fabulous 7 Gypsy paper, or embellishments.  No ribbon.  No fabric.  No stamps.  Just more things I don't know what to do with.  Things I like, but I can't seem to find a place for.

I need to have fabulous 7 Gypsy paper and embellishments, ribbon, fabric, stamps and much more surrounding me to give me inspiration.  I have many many containers of fabulous inspirational stuff and it needs to be near me.  I need it near me.

I just can't seem to make my mind concentrate on this dilemma.  What to do with the armoire, and the stuff inside it.  What to do with my messy table.  The papers that seem to collect and pile up.  What to do with the radio, the phone, the canisters, the bottle of pain reliever, the bottle of Vitamin E ointment, the butter knives, the postage stamps, the AAA (Triple A) cards, the Idaho Driver's Manual................you get the idea.

So I look inside the big armoire and then I see this face.  This grand daughter, who is a sophomore in high school this year.  This face is always smiling.  She is in my heart, deeply rooted in my heart.... and I can easily think of her.  Her playing volleyball, her sitting at a piano, her giggly face.  I can hear her laughter.  I can imagine her sparring verbally with her brother.  And his  giggly face, and his video games in his hands, and his feet sprawled all over my recliner.  And I feel the roots in my heart that he belongs to. 

They are the two things I want in my studio.  I want them to sit at my table and cut pictures out of magazines.  And glue the pictures in their "Inspiration" tablets.  And I can get to know them better.  I see the letters they cut out, and then they glue them on the pages and make new words.  Words that are a window into their  world and their minds.

But they aren't here.

This armoire is here.  And I don't know what to do with it.  I don't know how to organize my studio.  I guess I will just have to go to bed and think about it tomorrow.  I hope Barbara will come to me while I sleep and give me help with how to use this special loved armoire. Help me with my studio. She had great ideas.  She had a wonderful studio.  She was wonderful.  And I love this armoire.