Monday, January 3, 2011

We don't need no stink'n ice maker!

Hello my precious little blog friends and family.  Happy New Year!  Happy 2011!

Did you celebrate on 01/01/11.......what a neat date!

I kind'a slept through a few days, so I am not sure what today even is.

But, I have to share an experience we had today.  It is important enough to me to get on my computer and try to  type through my Narcotic Laden Eyes.  Life is actually pretty good right now, so I braved the computer on my lap table (which normally holds my meals) and I am going to try and share a cute experience with you.

Now, remember, I have recently taken 2 Lortabs, 7.5 mg. and I see pretty things when I do that.  So, this is really important to me, that you reach down deep in your sheltered life and try to project yourself to my state of mind.  Then you may see the sheer joy of the story.

OK... it is day 5 post surgery.  I am really doing great.  I am keeping my food down. 

To my knowledge, my blue nightgown (which DH washed today for me) is still blue.

It warmed up to a pleasant 7 degrees today.  The sun shinned all day for me.

My dear neighbor Diane brought us Hay Stacks for dinner, and a loaf of bread, and 3 big brownies.

My Physical Therapist came today for the first time.  (Nelly, lock the door next time!)

But, really I am doing very well...(except you should see how many typo's I have corrected and I haven't got to my story yet!)

DH has been doing wonderfully!  He sprung me from the Joint on day TWO!  We both perjured ourselves and said we would do everything the Dr. ordered!  So far, we haven't killed any dogs yet.... yet..... yet.....

Darling youngest daughter has gone back to work, and keeps a low profile in her "apartment" and we hardly know  she is here.

So, as you can one is in charge, and we are muddling through..... almost.....
Until, today.

DH has kept a stiff upper lip and put away all the Christmas decorations.  (only breaking one ornament this year.  He is improving.  The years of practice are paying off.)

So, this afternoon, after the PT (remember, Physical Therapist) left, and I was paralyzed in pain, we both decided we would rest the entire after noon.  No one was going to force us to do anything we didn't want to do.  It was an afternoon OFF.  We cheered each other on as we calmly crossed off the never ending lists which grow inside our heads. do laundry     sweep garage      wash dogs food dishes     read a book     write thank you notes     .  You know what I mean.    I just wanted to sit in the sunshine coming in through the window and day dream about my new body parts.   I visualized Bay Watch Women, with my face....smiling and gracefully running.....gracefully running....

Then I changed the channel in my head to Julia Child cooking.  I try to be realistic.

My daydream world lasted maybe 11 minutes and I realized  I  was in agony.  My knee was killing me.  With each penetration of a very big butcher knife that I had taken from Julia Child's cupboard I had too clench my teeth and hold back the scream!  So, calmly, softly I asked my DH if he would "pretty please, honey, would you mind getting me an ice pack  for my Right, Swollen, Throbbing Appendage, which used to be a knee?"

He was standing in the kitchen, and for the 305th time today he said, "What"?

So, I repeated myself.......Wait, this isn't how it really happened......I am rambling.  It must be the drugs.

I said, "Varce, I need and ice pack, NOW".

He said, "What"?

I said,.....(read above, I repeated what I had already said).

He said, "Sure, honey.  I will be so glad to serve you, I would do anything for you.  Just wait a minute.  I'm busy".  (Not really, but it sounds great if you are a man.....which I am Not!)

Really, he didn't say anything.  He never does.  He just looks at me, like I might be something new that he just noticed for the first time, and then does whatever he thinks I said.  He is amazing like that.  I always feel new and special.

So, now the story begins....I just gave you the first paragraph....well,  3 paragraphs, I don't want any of you to get confused.  I am on drugs you know.

So, tired, patient, tired,  patient,  hungry, tired, DH gets the ice pack...............(drums, softly in the background)...........walks, slowly to the refrigerator.........(drums...) ......he grasps the handle of the freezer door and, in one swift motion, opens it.  His forearms were bulging..( scratch that part)  His forearms were bulging...      He lifts the little door which houses the ice.  He stands there.  He looks inside the freezer, past the little door which houses the ice.  He steps closer.  He inserts his head in side the freezer, past the little door which houses the ice.  He stands there.  Unmoved.  No twitching.  Just stands there.

By now, I know what the deal is.  There is no  ice behind the little door which houses the ice, in the freezer.  I understand that he has a big problem on his hands.  He has to fix the big problem on his hands because he is a man.  And every man has to fix all the little problems they get on their hands.  And DH just needs a moment to himself to try and think about this little problem.

I could see the wheels turning in his head.  You can imagine it, too, huh?  He stands there.  Seconds passing.  I am debating with myself if I should just solve the dang problem.  I already had the answer, because I am a woman, and women know how to fix the problems men get on their hands.

Seconds continue to pass.  tick tick tick tick, (I have a few clock in my house and they all tick tick tick) tick tick.  Tension is starting to build.  DH hasn't moved.  Even though he is standing in front of an open freezer door, I think I can see him sweating.

Tick, tick, tick, tick......

"Honey, is everything okay?" I gently inquire.....(I don't want sweat on the ice that isn't there)

DH slowly turns towards me.  That look is back.... the one which says "are you something new in my house?????am I suppose to know you??????are you talking to me???????????"  It is something like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming speeding car.

"Honey, just put some ice in the ice pack, OK?"  I sweetly said, knowing he had no answer for me.

tick, tick, tick, tick...................the quiet was deafening.......tick, tick, tick

"Honey, since we live where it is 7 degrees outside, even though the sun is shinning, it isn't melting any of our snow.  Please, be a "deer" and put some snow in the ice pack.  Everything is okay.  But, will you look to see if the little metal bar is up or down inside the freezer?  If it is up, please, push it down, then more ice will soon be at our disposal".

Slowly, DH blinks.

Then he turns and looks  inside the open freezer.  Slowly he reaches in, and I hear a tiny little TICK, and the little metal bar slides down.

My DH blinks, again.

Then I blink (and struggle not to crack up laughing.....).

When I open my eyes I see my DH holding a big bowl and a glass.  He quickly disappears out the front door, (He was rather lively and quick, I knew at that moment, He must be St.....)

Only a few seconds later he returned inside the house with a "bowl full of jello snow"!

He had that ice pack filled with snow, and "he turned with a jerk". 

"And laying that ice pack to the side of my knee..."

Man, I love living where it is okay if your ice maker isn't making enough ice to keep up with the demand.  Ice is highly over rated.  And it is heavy on very sensitive new knees.  Snow, snow is light and fluffy and malleable.  It is easier to have on new knees.

Then, do you want to know what DH said?

He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "They can't do this in Glendale".  He has such a way with words.

The End.

Sorry, I don't have pictures to share.  I hope you could see the silent film in black and white, with the scratchy noise on the film, and hear a distant train whistle.............. and enjoy the simple things in my new life.

I gott'a go now.  My youngest daughter just opened my bedroom door and has a plate.  On the plate is a warm Giradelli's brownie, fresh from the oven.

This recovery might take longer than the Dr. expected.

Bye, for now.
Love to you all,,,,,and to all, a good night xoxoxoxoxo!


  1. Honey, I forgive you because I know it is just the drugs talking. As I remember it I was very decisive and efficient about solving the problem (I did say they couldn't do this in Glendale). I just wanted you to know I have not lost my sense of humor (yet). I love you, DH

  2. I have not lost my sense of humor yet either. After the first time I read this I called mom in total hysterics. I was laughing so hard I could not breath. I think she thought something was wrong until I could get out one word "blog" then she knew and she joined me in my laughter.

    I love this blog. It makes me feel like I am there with you. And dad... I don't think it's the drugs... I could TOTALLY visualize what she was saying and it all rings true to me. :D I love you both more than snow (which is a very log) :D LOL

  3. log?? LOL~~!!!~~ I meant "lot" :D hahahha

  4. Um, I'll have what dear Mum is having... :)I had to laugh though, at your resourcefulness and ability to think so practical - SNOW - duh! hee hee


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happy, in love, getting closer to retirement, love my family, love my Savior.