Lost Photos

I am near tears.

Yep, giant, ocean size tears.

Not my eyes, but my heart is sobbing today.

I spent 48 hours with my brother and his wife and their wonderful children in Island Park, at their "lodge" (which they call a cabin) earlier this week.

I took 300 photos.

I put my scan disk into my computer and was deleting and editing the photos.  They were fabulous!  They were one of a kind....... and I lost them.

See, I was interrupted by a storm.
A really good Idaho storm.
The kind with thunder, lightening and wonderful black clouds.

So, being the photographer that I am, I ejected my scan disk from my computer and put it back into my camera.
Knowing there were over 300 photos on my card, I DELETED THEM!!!
I THOUGHT THEY WERE SAVED ON MY COMPUTER.

I went outside and I took fabulous photos of the black sky, the rain, my wet car, ..... you know the kind of photos....the ones I won't save, I won't ever look at again.  The kind of photos that don't matter.

AURGH!  I am in pain as I think of the photos I hadn't saved:
*  The one with my brother holding his newest grandson.
*  The one of my niece's husband playing with that same baby.
*  The one of the little kids playing "kitty" in the dog pen, on the deck.
*  The close up faces and those precious expressions.... (I can't stand the pain I feel)
*  The faces, the eyes, the innocence.  (Oh, the pain...)
*  The picture of my brother and his wife.  Yep, the one that showed how much they love each other.

OH, the hard lessons we learn while growing old and trying to learn new tricks... technology is not for the faint of heart!

So I will leave you with a selected few ( some of the unimportant ones are saved... ^(*&(%*) of those precious 48 hours...

Watching Pre-dawn, waiting for the sun to rise... 5:30 ish in the A.M.

My sister in law and her oldest grand daughter... Can't you just feel the love?

The mother of the oldest grand daughter.

Same oldest grand daughter and youngest addition to their family..

Second child of same family... I love this face... and I had some "really special" photos... that are gone, gone, gone, forever......

And child # 3 of the same family..

She was a preemie...and is still very small...

and hasn't grown into her eyes yet...

those photos of those eyes...

You will never see those photos,

but I see them in my memory,

and they were fabulous!!!

And this is the boat dock.  My son in law would love to water ski here....if he would ever come with his family and find out for himself....

The sun coming up is reflected in the water....the smooth as glass water.....the water which is the home to fish...... the water, the sky, the peace, the tranquillity....

Yep, I love being in Idaho, and I love going to Island Park and sharing the beauty with my family.

So, I am planning a trip back, like, SOON, so I can try and recapture some of those faces.... and I will save them FIRST thing ..... before I edit, or anything...... and I will show you those faces.  And I will show you the love.  And I will show you the inside of my heart through those photos.

Those photos will look something like these:

These two kids are my heat, the inside and the outside.

I love them now and forever.

I miss them, and they are still in Idaho,

AND  I MISS THEM!!!!!

I LOVE THEM!!!!

FOREVER!!!

Monday, Monday.....

I have loved having my kids here with me.  Loved is the word! 

We have gone to the Blue Angels Air Show, and felt the vibration of the thrusting engines... wow.... 400 miles an hour over our heads.  One trick they did was to fly with the wing of one plane over the nose of the next plane, and there was 18 inches between them!!!!  Imagine!!!  At 400 miles an hour!

We have played Mad Gab and laughed so hard at each other.  We found out we all have accents!

We have played Mind Trap.  I found out the my grand kids do have a strong ability of reasoning. They could figure those things out so quick.

We enjoy the cool evening out on the deck.  We play, eat, laugh and talk, and occassionally find time for a game of Mind Trap.

We have eaten several cartons of ice cream.... Cake Batter by Tillamook is their favorite.

Nikki has cooked two of the most delicious Chicken dinners ever!  I don't think she should leave her mother on her own, and she should make arrangements to move to Idaho as soon as possible.  If for no other reason just to see to it that her mom is eating nutritious meals.  Regularly.  Daily.  Three times a day.

The dogs have enjoyed romping through the garbage cans through out the house as they have learned the rules of their new surroundings.... *that has not been much fun for the humans*.

The construction continues around our home.  Yes, I am nearly crazy as I listen to the beeping of machines backing up, smelling the exhaust of the machines, watching stupid men crash their trucks, and the most import  thing is my continued dusting every single darn day!!! Dust everywhere!!!  Daily....!!!   ECK!!!

And going to bed after 11:30 pm is a regular schedule.  I think I am going to die soon from lack of sleep. As the construction starts very early.....

The dogs, all 3 of them continue to drive me crazy with barking at the construction workers. And the trucks, and the dust, and the..... well, they just bark to get under my skin!!! They have reached bone!

Then, the fact that I am really camping out in a big "camper" is wearing on me....  Not enough towels for everyone.... no washer and dryer.....no dressers for clothes....not enough beds.....

It is summer and gets kinda warm during the days, and I don't have window blinds on every window yet...so the neighbors get to see a garage sale purchase of a pink bedspread hanging in my front window.  (I feel like I live in "a house of ill repute with the pink shade glowing through the room)

But then, I find myself relishing in the evenings as I watch the moon come up over the lush green foothills.

The nights cool down and the air is clean, and I open my windows.

The grass is cool to walk on, and the shade is really shade, and it is cooler than the sun beating on our heads.

The water comes out of my faucet cold and yummy.  Yep, I get a drink right out of the faucet.  Cutting the purchase of bottled water out of my budget!

I live less than a mile away from my parents.  It is a joy to "drop in" and visit them. They are wonderful!

Then there are my neighbors... I can't express how wonderful they are.  They bring me hot loaves of bread, and nutty bars, and such wonderful treats, and share everything they own...couches....My neighbors have been wonderful to give me the codes to their garage doors and let me do my laundry whenever I need to.  They share everything they have.  They have looked after me every minute of everyday and made sure I was okay and didn't need anything. They are the best!!!

So I am adjusting to my new surroundings.....and I love sharing it with my kids and family.

Getting to  know my granddaughter has been so fun.

She is the most beautiful and special granddaughter I have.

She loves to eat, play volleyball, bug her brother, jewlery, paint her nails, sleep, put on makeup, and hug me!

I love Idaho.  I am home, almost.

There is no home for me until my beloved husband joins me.
For that...... I wait...........................

Construction .... and men....

Not all men are created equal.

Some men have bigger toys than other men.

I am keeping the identity of this man quiet...and hidden... because he knows where I live and I don't need him digging holes in my yard!

But he digs really good holes.

And this man has really stupid   interesting co-workers.

Like the kind that doesn't see the holes that are dug by the first man.

And the stupid interesting co-workers are rather dimwitted and don't see the holes when they put their trucks in reverse.

And the stupid interesting co-workers drive in  reverse in the direct line of the drainage pipe which is exposed.

Yep.  Thank goodness the drainage pipe was there, or who knows when the truck would have stopped.

Without the drainage pipe, the truck could have fallen into China, which is on the other side of the world.

(I know it is there because my kids were smaller they wanted to dig to China, using the flatware from my kitchen).

Yep.

That drainage pipe came in really handy.

It is a nice place to rest ones "backside".

But men like big toys.

I think they make stupid irresponsible choices so they can use all of their toys.

So, man number one found another toy.  And he used it.

I wouldn't want my "backside" lifted with this toy, but the driver of this truck was grateful.

Just a little "lift" and he could move tons of otherwise "scrap metal".

Just get the prongs centered under the bumper.....

Make SURE you are centered....

and the truck is in Neutral....

Yeah, get right in there...

That's right....

Lift up high...

and give a little push forward.....

Push just a little harder...

the truck is rolling forward....

Keep pushing...

You are still very very very close to the drain....

And remember the ground is meant to slant towards the drain.....

a gentle slant, but still a slant....

Whew.... I am so happy...

*clapping from the ladies who are watching, and taking pictures*

Now, get back to work, and quit playing with your toys....

You are suppose to be installing a water storage facility for the City Of Ammon!

Craigs List

I am not a sales person.

I don't want to pretend to be a sales person.

Unfortunately I am selling stuff.

If you are interested, I have a used microwave......

See, it is clean...

It is White.

It is a Whirlpool.

I will take your offer.
Step up.
Don't be shy.
Really, I will take what you offer.

Because I also have a dishwasher to sell.

,

Dang. I hate it when this happens.

Yep.

It happened when I listed it on Craigs list, too.

Looks like a hippo's mouth sideways.

Do ya wanna see the front?

OK

Come on. 
Make me an offer I can't refuse.
I won't refuse it.

I will ask my neighbor Norman to help you load it on your own truck.
No, I don't have a truck in Idaho.
Only cowboys and farmers have trucks in Idaho.
(Now you know why my "other half" is still in AZ.)

So I encourage you to shop on Craigs list, and buy these beauties.
They are nearly cheap.

Thank you.

The Little White House

I have an Aunt Patrice.

She is younger than me.

She has an older sister, Lois and a brother David.  They are both younger than me, too.

Yep, in Idaho things like this sometimes happens.

But it is natural for me, as I know nothing else.

Don't you have an Uncle and 2 Aunts younger than you?

Hummm, I thought everybody did...

Well, Aunt Patrice invites the family over for an evening of relaxation and fun.

We have good food and great company.

My Aunt Patrice lives in "the little white house".

It is a little house which my grandmother and grandfather had when they were first married.

They little house has been in our family all these many years.

I lived in the "little white house" when I was first married.

My first baby was born when we lived there.

The "little white house" used to be white.

Then it was a grayish blue color.

Then it got siding and is now a different color...

But it will always be known as "the little white house".

It is a tiny little house, on a great big lot, in the middle of the city, and the city just grows and grows around  "the little white house".

"The Little White" house has an "outside bedroom".

The real one is in the attic, and it is so charming, but it can get warm in the summer,

so there is a garden bedroom.

Doesn't everyone want a garden bedroom?

I do!!

My Aunt is a "free spirit".

And I love, love, love her.

She is brave a self sufficient.

She does life her way.

She lives her life as she want to.

And she takes great pride in "the little white house.

She share is with all the family.

Every summer some of the family get to spend an evening in the yard of "the little white" house.

She builds a fire, and we roast wieners.

Yep, wieners.

                                     

Sometimes we bring additional goodies to go along with the roasted wieners....salads, chips, and stuff.

But the wieners are the best.  The smokey flavor of the fire on the wieners and in your eyes.  It makes your hair stink, and your clothes stink and everyone of us loves every single second.

There is a tiny little bitty smallish bathroom in "the little white house".

It only has a shower.

So, there is a need for a garden bathroom.

A cast iron claw foot tub is surrounded with a canvas enclosure.

Hot water is run from the sink to the tub....and Wah La.... an outside garden tub!

Long soaks with stars above, a gentle summer breeze, and total relaxation.

My Aunt has lived there for many years now.

She takes good care of the "little white house".

Her yard is lush, with flowers and flowers and trees and vegetables, and flowers.

                                                  

Everyone can play games, run around, get the giggles, eat, play, laugh, giggle, and hide in the flowers...

and giggle, and eat, and talk, and laugh, and giggle, and hug and love..... at "the little white house"

When we are there we feel the presence of those who are no longer with us.

The memories we each have are special just to us.

The picking of raspberries.

The milking of cows.

The outhouse.

The loom with a rug on it being woven in those precious spare moments.

Sweet smells of cooking garden vegetables.

Green apples.

We miss the wonderful people who made a log cabin into "the little white house".

We miss the love, the welcome, the simple way of life.

The traditions, the generosity, the unfailing support.

The love.

The love.

Generations of us have gathered at "the little white house".

Cousins seeing each other, sisters getting together, brothers sharing memories and meals.

Sleep overs outside.

Lilac bushes in full bloom.

And Halloween decorations......

Witches and black cats.......

Bouquets of flowers....

memories....

                                      

This is my dad.

He relaxes at "the little white house".

He smiles, he visits, and shares the love and joy of our family.

His smile sums up what we all feel when we are at "the little white house".

Love!

The Craft of Dying

While sitting out on the deck with two of my daughters our conversations rambled.  We discussed very earth shattering things like; weather, taxes, government, price of gas, price of groceries, world peace, our bathroom habits, the yard, World Soccer games, oil spills, the importance of brushing ones teeth daily, and many other life threatening topics.

OK, so they weren't life threatening topics.... and some of the things listed really weren't discussed.

We were sitting on the deck and talking.

As we were talking I made a small, inconsequential statement.


Me: "I have come full circle – my marriage started in Ammon and will end here".


Youngest Daughter: "No it won’t."

Me:  "I have two more moves left in me."

Oldest Daughter: "Whatever.  You aren't going to move again."

Me: "Yes I will.  I have one move  to the nursing home and one to Woods funeral home."

Youngest Daughter:  "Let’s not talk about this anymore."

Oldest Daughter: "You don’t want to talk about it because you don’t want to think of packing up all of mom’s crap again."


Hahaha



Youngest Daughter: "Your coffin is going to be so full with your treasures."

Oldest Daughter: "I’m putting buttons over her eyes."

Oldest Daughter: "We can tat some lace and sew it around her lips."


Oldest Daughter: "And we can take Distress Ink and distress her fingernails."

Youngest Daughter: "And singe her hair.  It will give her the popular burned look, like aged paper".

Oldest Daughter: "And I’ll decoupage some pictures of her grand kids to her chest.".

Oh yeah.  My girls think they are really funny... they just couldn't say enough wonderful things about my funeral future....my lying in state must have been on their minds for some time.  They were way too prepared to share what they see in the future.


Oldest Daughter: "Throw in a doily, some more lace and buttons, ribbon here, homemade paper there, a few scraps of fabric, a quilt and some books… must include Gurnsey so she has something to read if she’s got a long line on resurrection day."


hahahahah


Oldest Daughter: "Sick? Perhaps. But oh how we know and love our mom."


Does anyone want to adopt two daughters?
Just contact me...ASAP.

All the Difference.....

When babies get sick, there are many many many cords.....
Cords to track heart beats...
To track respirations.........
Cords to oxygen levels........

Tubes for IV's...........
Tubes for antibiotics...........



And there are many pokes with sharp instruments.........
Pokes for IV's................
Pokes in heels to draw blood.............



And his little heels were so full of holes, that the nurses would place a warm compress on his heels, and then squeeze his heel.  The blood would flow on it's own.  The poor little guy.



To hold him, and hug him wasn't enough.
He was so dehydrated.
His blood sugars were dangerously low.
The doctors tried to poke and poke him.

When the Perimedics arrived the first time they assured us the baby looked fine.  They said very calming things, but didn't do anything.  They were wrong.

We could see the baby becoming lathargic again, within minutes after the Perimedics left.

So Mom and Dad put the baby in the car and headed to the hospital.

The baby started to crash again.... bad!

*911*

They came to the street where they were and transported the baby and mom to the nearest hospital.

When they arrived at the Scripps hospital no one could get an IV into the baby.

Not in his hands.

Not in his feet.

Not in his head....

So they shaved a little part of his hair off on the side of his head to get an IV in.

It didn't work.

They tried 3 more times.... and nothing would work.

The Doctors feared some kind of infection.

They gave him an antibiotic.

And then they called for the helicpoter.

The medics on the helicopter knew they were 9 minutes away from the Redy Childrens Hospital,

but they were not comfortable taking the baby and mom, that far without an IV in.

They tried, and tried and tried.

Usually moms don't go in the helicopter with the babies.

But mommy was so calm they said she could go.

She had some medical training, and grew up around it, so she trusted the doctors and stayed calm.

The rest of us drove to downtown San Diego to the Redy Children's Hospital.

We beat the helicopter.

Still, the doctors and nurses couldn't get an IV in those small dehydrated veins.

So, nurses from the NIC U were summoned.

They tried.

They shaved off his bangs...and tried twice....

They tried his feet.

They finally got one in his left hand.

It had been 17 hours his last feeding, which wasn't much,

he wasn't getting enough to hydrate him.

His sugars were affected by the low fluids in his body.

Infection was a real fear.

Once the IV was in, they dripped the fluids very quickly.

They drew blood and found he was so dehydrated the blood clotted before it was in the tube and available to run the needed tests.

Even heel sticks clotted.

The first 24 hours the baby hardly moved.

He didn't squirm...he didn't want to eat.....

He scared us!!

Two differnt antibotics were used, just to cover all the bases...

But the Dr's and nurses were just treating,

they didn't know what was wrong...

The baby was 96 hours old.

Family gathered.

Family prayed.

Family fasted.

Family cried, laughed, and cried again.

Our baby was growing bacteria in the urine.

So an Ultra Sound was ordered.

That seems ok.

But this little one has to go back to the hospital in one week for an out patient

procedure to run a test from the bladder, to the kidney...

I won't tell the details, as every man would faint!

It won't be pretty.

My poor little baby... he has been through so much!

Both of my babies have been through so much.

The power of prayer and fasting has made all the difference.