Saturday, March 26, 2011

Where Has The Time Gone

Where did March go?

My blog is a tidbit of my journal and life.  But you wouldn't know it these days.  I have neglected this little piece of my world terribly.  The time just flew away and I wasn't able to keep up.  It is that plain and simple.

I have been busy.  Not with things that I can show you with pictures.  It is the "other stuff" in our lives that has filled my days.  You know what I mean.  The things that are close to your heart, and you keep them private.  Things that happen and they are the things you don't take pictures of.  Family things.  Health things.  Heart felt things.  And some Painful things.

I spent many days in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It was an unexpected trip.  One day it was Valentines Day, and the next day I was in Utah with family members.  Those days are a blur to me now.  They are tender memories.  I won't share them here.  It isn't appropriate.  But know it was painful.  It was stressful. And a very thankless time.  A time when hopes and wishes didn't come true.  A time when I felt lonely and helpless and sad.  I felt disappointment, despair, resentment, anger, and so much love!  My dear husband and children were my rock.  They held me up when I didn't think I could bare another day.

During that time I saw a few miracles.  I shared them with my brothers.  We drew strength and love from each other.  We became closer than we have been in years.  We shared heart aches, discouragement, love and laughter.  We felt the love of our Father in Heaven and the influence of Satan.  I can testify that both are in our lives daily.  Some times the lesser tries to imitate the other.  It is done with cunning and deviousness.  At times it is hard to tell which one to listen to.  I was tested.  At times I didn't do so well.  At other times, I felt the love of Jesus Christ hold me in His arms and give me peace. 

I am glad that I shared that experience with my mom and dad, my husband and children, and brothers and a wonderful sister in law!  We are so much closer and feel such love for each other.  When we had to lean on each other we became a strong wall of love and support for each other.  I am grateful for this time with them.  The learning and experiences we have in this life helps us to continue to grow and mature.  We never stop growing and learning. 

Quickly, after that experience, which I refer to as "The Utah Time", my DH and I took a trip to California to see our two children, who continue to call that state home.  Why?  Darned if I know the answer to that.  Although the weather in California, in March, is much nicer than the weather in Idaho is.  {I can't believe I just said that!} But the smog, the traffic, the thank you....!

However, if I have to go to Southern California every month I will.  Because My little grandson lives there.  So I will go!  Every time I can.  I don't have a heart anymore. that little man has it.  It is wrapped around his little bitty tiny finger!

In case you aren't a grandmother yet, let me be the first to warn you about what happens to you when you become one.  You lose your heart.  Over and over and over.  It is that simple.  You are never the same.

It happens so quickly you can't protect yourself.  Those wee children just rip out your lungs and heart, and every organ!  It is true.  And it happens if they are 3 years old, or 15 months old or new born.  You don't expect it, and WHAM it hits you.  You are never the same.

When I hear "Nana" heart skips a beat and then it is gone.  Someone has it.  And I haven't been the same since.

And those grandkids, who are 16 and 14 years old are just as good at stealing my heart as that 9 month old is.  However, the older grandchildren expect to have me lay down and give them my heart every single time I am with them....and it isn't the same as when they are 9 months old. 

When babies have "attitude" it is because they are hungry, tired, or have poopy pants.

When teenagers have "attitude".......the reasons aren't as easily identified.  Are they hungry?  Always.
Are they tired?  Usually.  I don't look at their underwear so I don't know if they are poopy, but the "attitude" can be......or it can be as sweet as roses.  But those grandkids still steal your heart.  No matter what.

My time in California was cut short, and I missed the planned visit to Arizona.

Do you want to know why?  I knew you did... so I will tell you. 

My youngest daughter was home in Idaho tending 4 dogs and going to work and just enjoying herself home alone.  And then WHAM.  She was hit with another Gallbladder attack.  It was the worst ever.  And she has had some bad ones over the past few years....but this one was really bad. 

The attack started during the night on Friday.  It kept her up most of the night.  But she was a good employee and got up and went to work Saturday morning.  When she arrived at work, at 7:30 a.m. she told her manager how sick she was.  Her words fell on deaf ears and she ended up throwing up blood and still worked until 1:30 pm. Some people have no compassion! (That is the mom in me coming out...sorry)  So, my youngest daughter drove herself to Urgent Care, was treated and sent to the hospital for an Ultra Sound.  It confirmed the gallbladder had to come out......but the surgeon wouldn't be contacted until Monday.  Later that night another neighbor drove her to Urgent Care for the second time that day.  She got a shot for the pain.  Pills were not strong enough.  (Thanks Diane)

In the meantime, I caught a very early flight Sunday morning and arrived in IF about 1:00 pm.  My dear neighbor met me at the airport and drove me home (Thanks JoyLynn).  I was amazed to see my strong daughter in so much pain. 

Thursday afternoon surgery was preformed.  The Dr. told me her gallbladder had infection and scar tissue.  That is why the surgery took twice as long as it should have.  Once the patient woke up enough to get dressed and walk, I took her home.  She is recovering slowly and in pain still, but she says it is better than the pain prior to surgery.  It is amazing to me that Gallbladder surgery is done as "out patient" now.  It wasn't very many years ago that surgery was done with a long incision in the torso and 3 to 4 days in the hospital.

So, life goes on.......

Hopefully April will hold less challenges for me.  Less drama would be a good thing.

Thank you to all of those who have shared the past two months with me.  Your love and support are priceless.  May we continue to love and forgive all those who trespass against us.  That is my prayer.  And might I add, let us never lose our sense of humor.

Tomorrow is something to  look forward doesn't have any mistakes in it....! 
(Name that movie)...


  1. Beautiful post Mom. Your words are so eloquent in this one, soft, and motherly. You make a wonderful nurse - and have in many professions now, but never are your bedside manners so great as when the patient is your child. We are so very lucky to have you as our Mother, and caregiver. I love you and am so greatful for our visit! xoxo

  2. tawnya, i just spent some time catching up. thank you for your kind words on my blog. you are so sweet. i'm sorry to hear that march was a rough month. i hope that april is treating you like a queen:). hope all is well and that you guys are enjoying beautiful idaho! I really do love that state so much. take some more pictures. the beauty there is astounding:)! love to you!


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happy, in love, getting closer to retirement, love my family, love my Savior.